Site in Bangalore !!

Part One: The Marriage.

During that high-level management meeting between “Groom Inc” and “Bride Inc" before the “Acquisition”, when my “would be dad-in-law”, CEO of Bride Inc,  explicitly asked if I had any assets in MY name , I was more than happy to declare that I owned some 5 , 6 sites.

“ Very nice to hear. In Bangalore?”, he added.

“mmmmmmmm.. Yeah.. In Bangalore also.”

“ Done, I’ll call Shastriji and have the marriage date fixed”.

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Part Two: After marriage!

My Better Half : “ Well , back then, you had mentioned about some sites in Bangalore which you own right?”

My Best Half (Oh, that’s me) : “ Yeah, now I have 7 :)”.

Her: “ Wow !! Amazing. Can we go there. I just wanna have a look at them :)”

Me: “ Sure, we need not have to go anywhere! Its right here. I shall show you from here itself!”

Her: “How?” , confusion was evident in her word.

[I turned my laptop on and …]

Me: “ Look, these are mine :) … www.hitechalarmapp.com , www.onehellavesite.com , www.contestsaround.in  , and two special sites called blogsites!  http://sheketimes.blogspot.com  and http://anoopdixith.blog.com  are some of the sites I own :) !!!!”

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Part Three: Spun Off !!

My worse half (to the judge in the civil court during the divorce case hearing) : “ Your honour, this guy cheated us all. He told he had some sites, but he was referring to those crappy websites. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life with this dumb web site developer. Grant us the divorce.”

My worst half (Yeah that’s me) : “ Yes your honour. She is right ”.

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Part Four : Rise of phoenix !!

Headlines in ITCrunchNews.com: “ samcool.com becomes the no.1 player in freelance SaS market. Alexa places it above Blogger.com in the most visited sites.”

Headlines in HotTechNews.com: “ samcool.com earns an estimated 5,780 USD a day. CEO Anoop Dixith tops Forbes list of fastest growing TechBusinessmen”.

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Part Five: Negotiation is a part of life!

My Ex-wife(through an SMS): “ Congrats Anoop. Very happy for you. You don’t know how much happy I am now. You know, we are still very good friends even after our divorce. Isn’t it? :) . I congratulate you when something remarkable you achieve, like this one. And do you remember, you too complimented that I‘ve lost lot of weight, which is indeed a noteworthy achievement. So don’t you feel we could still patch up our differences and get going together? No, I just told what I feel, it’s not a necessity for me, but just..ya.. you get it na. After all, negotiation is a part of life.”

Me to myself : “ She is right”!

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Part Six: Negotiation is a part of life - Part Two:

Me, to her ( After re-marriage): “ You know, now I own 11 sites in total”

Her: “ Really nice :) Now I am really happy about them. But what  does your samcool.com actually do?? You know right, I’m not from technical background, so dint get what those online newspapers were telling.”

Me: “ Nothing. Infact its just a static page. To be frank, those two online newspapers ITCrunchNews.com  and HotTechNews.com  are also mine. So I could write anything in them. They are just spoof articles. People read it for fun. Kind of satire websites. Like the world famous TheOnion.com, and our Indian version FakingNews.com etc.  But I’m really glad you were impressed by my sense of humour and re-married me :). After all, negotiation is a part of life.”

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Why Java is better than your gf ?? ;)

Because:

1. Java will trouble you if and only if the mistake is yours. (unlike , well you know)

2. Whatever java asks for will be free stuffs, like some jre, jdk, eclipse plugins etc, all of which come at zero cost.(unlike, well .. you got it…)

3. Java will never ditch you.

4. Java won’t feel bad when you ditch her for python , ruby or some other better models, as she knows she will always be in demand. (unlike…… well you understood)

5. If you spend some time with java everyday , it will surely pay off, but if you spend some time with your gf everyday , YOU will surely ‘pay’ off.

6. Java never restricts you from peeping at other beauties like perl/python/C# etc, as she knows you’ll surely come back. (Unlike…… yes correct)

7. Java is very flexible.Depending on your preferences, she can modify herself to be in one of ME or SE or EE moods. (Unlike “I just hate it and I don’t care” kind of , yes you   guessed it right)

8. Java never expects any precious Valentine’s day or birthday gifts , neither does she expects you to remember the date you first met her or installed jre !

9. If you ever break-up with Java, YOU ARE the loser !! But, (Yes, please continue yourself with the other side of this)

10. Most important of all, you love Java because she’s beautiful. It’s not that she is beautiful for you because you love her (which is the case of your… yes, you filled it correctly)

11. Java can thrive in all sorts of environment (windows, Mac, Solaris, Linux etc). But this is really difficult for your gf. Its really hard for your  Mandir visiting gf to accompany you to a pub or your pub addict gf to visit a temple with your mother!

12. Finally, if your gf reads this piece of article, she’ll get angry. But if I swap gf and java roles in this article and make java read it (yes,as you know you can make java read this txt file), java doesn’t feel anything :) Java’s that matured ;) (Unlike,… yes , what you are thinking is absolutely right)

 

 

And Some Minor Diffs :

13. Java is not afraid of cockroaches.

14. Java has no brothers !!

15. Java’s “methods” of handling things are proper.

16. Java never gets your ‘loyalty test’ done through UTV Bindass’ Emotional Atyaachar.

 

In a single line to summarize it all, “Java makes your life simple while ……”

 

 

------------------------NOM to anyone. The above article is meant to be read , agreed upon and forgotten. ;)

A little philosophy for a change!!

 

Beneath the shallow backwaters of Mediterranean sea abreast Dalmossa, lived 3 fishes, Danny (male), Nanny(female) and Johnny(male). Nanny was a cutie pie and looked very pretty. Danny, on the other hand was a speciality in himself for being from one of the rarest species. Finally, Johnny was just another common fish who was not earmarked in any way, but nonetheless had a never-say-die kind of positive attitude towards life.

One fine day, a zoologist who happened to be a hobbyist fisherman jaunted at the place and caught all these three friends. At the very outset, he was dearly impressed by the beauty and colour of pretty Nanny and decided to put her in his aquarium. He then noticed Danny and found out that it was of the rarest species about which no much research has been done and opted to nurture it for his research. The other one, Johnny, had no hereditary qualities or any stupendous feature that led him put it in his basket kept open at the starboard side of his still boat. But Johnny kept humping and craving for water so hard that upon unceasing and unfaltering jumps and amaranthine hopping, somehow managed to slip back to water from the closely placed open basket. 

Post this incident, Nanny led a happy but an under thumb life, grabbing appreciations from visitors but craving even for her food with the maintainer. Danny, on the other bank had an intriguing life, as his every move was watched carefully, his each behaviour being studied thoroughly , appeared in few newspapers and became moderately famous. But somewhat had a congested life, had to face some hardships, be smitten by experimentation. Johnny, meanwhile led a cool, independent albeit a very normal unnoticed life with his friend cloud in the shallow waters for the rest of his life. 

          Nanny, Danny and Johnny all had their own share of life, just like billions of us. Some applauded, some acclaimed, some affluent , some just as common as any other common artist in life.

Now the question arises. If the ultimate goal of life is to be happy, why care about the source of it ???? The fate ( fisherman) would drive us anywhere (aquarium, nurture culture or back to our life) anytime and we are left with our skills and most importantly, attitude to decide what we would be up to. But no matter what we are remodelled into, no matter what we achieve, what image we carve on the eternal time tablet, a question pops out at the end of the day: “Did we LIVE the life?” 

PS: Thanks a lot for reading the above crap :)

The Lift:

NOM to anyone: Respect the world and its beliefs. 

Scene 1:

Location: Lift at the ground floor of a 30 storey building in some Indian metropolitan city:

A guy in his mid-twenties enters the lift. The door was just about to close-in when he sees a girl, in early twenties, rushing towards the lift wanting to come inside as well. His hands robotically presses the door-open button, (repeatedly inspite of knowing one press would do) and she enters in. His very action lets us know that the girl he paved the way for, should be considerably appealing.

She presses number 16 and he makes sure he presses something above that (and for the smartness sake, not 16 either) to have the crest time slice with her. And the lift accelerates up. He silently wishes for some power-cut kinda scenario that he had seen in many south films, but knows none of those would happen in actual. He keeps his face stiff, but turns his eyeballs gently to have a glimpse of what she’s doing or looking at and to have a detailed look at what she’s wearing. She, on the other hand, sure shot knows he would be thinking about and espying her, but exerts her best to overlook him, paying him no mind as she paces up the chewing of the gum and synthetically rolls her fingers over her Smartphone screen. There arrives the 16th floor and she, steps out willingly ignoring him. He, in a tender tone audible only to his ears, says “kya maal thi yaar” and presses 7 to go back to where he actually wanted.

Scene 2:

Location: Lift at the ground floor of a 30 storey building in some US/UK city:

A guy in his mid-twenties enters the lift. The door was just about to close-in when he sees a girl (read a babe), in early twenties, rushing towards the lift wanting to come inside as well. His hands voluntarily presses the door-open button and she enters in.

She presses number 16 and he presses 7. And the lift accelerates up. He tells her that she’s looking gorgeous and sexy. With a cheeky smile she says, thank you :). He suddenly remembers that one of his ex-girlfriends looked as pretty and curvy as this lady ,still he could not stick on. On the other bank, she is fed up of listening to comments like the one he just poured and intelligently ignores it smiling and thanking, remembering all her ex-boyfriends who used the same sentence in their first meet, had a short term relationship that ended either because she got a better guy or her guy got a better chick. There comes the 7th floor where he alights. She somewhat feels relieved now, and comes out from the flashback of all her previous affairs which had their roots in some situation very akin to this one. And she exits at 16.

Scene 3:

Location: Lift at the ground floor of a 30 storey building in some Brazilian/Argentine city:

A guy in his mid-twenties enters the lift. The door was just about to close-in when he sees a girl (read a babe again), in early twenties, rushing towards the lift wanting to come inside as well. He lazily presses the open-door button and she enters.

She presses 16 and he, 7. She is in looking super hot in her jeans and he is looking like a typical Latino model sporting a translucent white shirt through which his 6 pack abs shine evidently. Inspite of these, no one bothers about the other over their journey in the lift, not even do they notice what the other person is wearing. He alights at 7 and she, at 16. They both acted like two independent entities having their own world of ideas and motives. Because while she was a lesbian, him a gay!!!