RGV to direct a movie wid Preity and Shilpa: “Ditch over the Pitch”

/* No offence meant: All characters r purely imaginary and if you find any coincidence between the characters mentioned and some real life people, i can just say LOL */

After the dramatic banning and the eventual court rumblings of two of the IPL teams, one owned by old age Preity and the other by age old Shilpa, RGV is all set to direct a film on the same. Grapevine says that the film is being produced by Lalit Modi to use this as a weapon against BCCI and its bullish moves of suspending him, KXIP and RR from the lucrative league. Who has played the lead male role in the film is still a mystery, but going by the back-fence talk, it’s Yuvi, who had no job other than reading the script of this film during the recent test series. Shane Warne is supposedly making his Bollywood debut, in a guest role. Lalit Modi also mentioned of dubbing this movie into two other languages UttarPradeshi and Rajasthani, which he thinks as the languages spoken widely in states where the teams are based!!

Believable sources described that the movie is all about how Preity and Shilpa exposed. I mean, how they exposed rural cricket talents to the whole world by offering an opportunity to play in their teams. And about how Yuvi and Warne utilized what they had exposed.

Music maestro A.R.Rahman was first approached for music of the film, but he sternly declined. Then Modi contacted a number of music directors including Anu Malik, Sajed Wajid, Vishal Shekar, SEL and so forth, who all rejected the offer because flamboyant and all innovative Modi, whose creativity we all have seen in the opening and closing ceremonies of IPL, wanted a 3D music for film. We heard of him questioning, ' if video can be in 3D, why can’t be the audio?’. But when no music directors turned up, he suddenly remembered Sivamani who was often seen on the stadia when Chennai Super Kings played and gave him his first offer ever.

Meanwhile, BCCI officials said they will team up with Raj Thackerey’s Maharastra Navnirman Sena and try their best to enforce a ban on the film citing that the movie is entirely pro North Indian states (Rajasthan and Punjab) and is hence harmful to the integrity of the nation, particularly of ‘Mumbai Indians’!!

Few of the famous codes written over the generations…. (to be updated as and when)

/* Developer: MOHANDAS_K */

if(slap)

return(other_cheek);

-----------------------------------------

/* Developer: ISAAC_N */

for(;;action++)

reaction = -action;

------------------------------------------

/* Developer: ARINDHAM_C */

for(;;chicken++)

if(chicken != hatched)

count++;

------------------------------------------

/* Developer: LORD_KRISHNA*/

/* Reference Doc: ShrimadBhagavadGeeta */

malloc(current_tasks) && free(result);

------------------------------------------------

/* Developer: J_Keats */

if(thing == beautiful)

{

for(;;)

{

thing = joyous;

}

}

----------------------------------------------------

/* Developer: Canara_Bank */

//This piece of code is now obsolete

grow()

{

serve();

}

serve()

{

grow();

}

-----------------------------------------------------------

/* Developer: Adidas */

public static final String impossible = “ ”;

------------------------------------------------------------

/* Developer: Hammurabi */

if(eye)

return(eye);

if(tooth)

return(tooth);

//Objection_1: MohanDas_K

//Reviewer comments:

/* return() values like these will

eventually remove all variables */

-----------------------------------------------------------

/* Developer: Rajinikanth::Project:Baasha */

fun_speak(char* speaker, char* words)

{

int i;

char* baasha = “Rajinikanth”;

if(strcmp(speaker,baasha) == 0)

{

for(i=0;i<100;i++)

printf(“%s”,words);

}

else

printf(“%s”,words);

}

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Micro-thoughts….(to be updated as and when…)

IRONY

As employees were spending too much time on Facebook, Infosys blocked it first in its network. Then it was Accenture, Mindtree and many others who blocked it. Facebook’s popularity grew so much off late that even biggies like Microsoft and Google blocked Facebook.com during the office hours. Now, the popularity of Facebook is at such heights that to avoid its employees from spending too much of their time on facebook during working hours, the website is now blocked in Facebook.Inc too.!!

FAST FOOD

Yesterday(14/06/2010) , a new hotel (kinda chat centre) got opened close to my room here in kormangala.. it was named "FAST FOOD" !!! So I was just wondering how can anyone FAST and have FOOD at the same time !!! :P

HEART’S SECRETS REVEALED

God knew two facts.

1. Its impossible to forget any of your loved ones throughout your life.

2. An average person will fail three times in love in his/her lifetime….

That’s the sole reason behind Him putting four chambers in everyone’s heart :)

CWG Fuss

Yesterday(24/09/2010), all of a sudden, these thoughts started appearing....
Do I have the right to criticize CWG when,
1. I myself used to finish reading for my exams just 1 or 2 minutes before it started. (Many a times, din't even finish)
And with my parents' money, I was shattering their hopes with that act....
2. I myself would still be coding and fixing and testing even on the date of product delivery.
3. I myself clean my room once in a bluemoon, maybe till I feel its mine.
4. I myself find it difficult and stammer to provide the breakup if at all my dad asks,"How you spent the month's salary?".
No, I don't think I have. Do you??

ROMANCE

One of my friends here was very happy when he read that French is called Romance language,as he is learning it. Then he saw that even Spanish was called Romance language! And then Italian too !! Later we came to know that languages derived from Roman are referred as Romance languages !!!!

SCRIPT FUN

While writing a small application, i did a small mistake in naming the checkboxes of the script. The results were so terrific and crazy!! "Relationship status" field showed "Male" and "Female" while in the "SEX" field, it displayed "Single", "Open" and "Its Complicated"

AS IMAGINED BY ME

I thank all those beautiful girls, who increased my customer base, by ditching their boyfriends.

-- DR || VIJAY MALLYA

 

HUMANITY

If someone says “HUMANITY IS ABOVE ALL”, do Animal-Right Activists oppose??

 

Difference between Rancho n Chatur ;)

Question: Name any phenomenon where wind energy gets converted into sound energy.

Chatur: In Lancashire boilers,this happens when the outer pressure of the inner cylinder is greater than 3 pascal and whistle’s threshold is lesser than that.

Rancho: One phenomenon is sometimes when you fart.

 

One simple doubt:

Why gtalk maps "Red" color to "Busy" , "Green" color to "Active" and "Saffron" color to "Idle"??

Does that mean "China" is busy ( in supporting our foes) , "Pakistan" is active (executing terror plans) but "India" is idle , doing nothing against it ??

Silence is Golden !!

         Lemme tell u a story. An experience , u can call, coz only after that incident did we realize “Silence is sometimes truly golden”!
When I was in Paris, I reported to a person called ‘Mr.X’(let it confidential atleast till I’m in this company), who was one of the most respected of the French managers, which reputation, he had earned primarily because of his two qualities; was always to the point while answering something (infact anything) and was really an open book. What he spoke was exactly what he had in him.

         This being the case, once we (myself and 2 others) were having our lunch with Mr.X. We had brought our ‘self-made’ chitrannas and pulyogres while he was enjoying his usual food, the beef and some legumes. As we dint find any better topic to chew with the food, we tried pulling his legs as we asked him directly, why French people weren’t yet familiar with spoken English, even though it was indeed, the global language??

         Yes, French people hardly speak English. They don’t know it infact. Even today, grandpas and grandmas insist that their children should learn only French. For French, setted, hadded, telled , planned..all are fine. (Yes, planned is fine for us also). I can say may be fifty percent of the population know English, not more than that.
So we were eagerly waiting for the justification our one point manager was about to give. But then, what he said made us reconsider our intentions of mocking him after that.

          “ You know English as you were under British. We weren’t, so we don’t ” .

Fall

Story line of the poem:  A fearsome champion wrestler , when he is ninety, recalls conquests and accomplishments of his youth and now, when he has lost all the charm and power, wonders who is the actual wrestler…

Fall

I crushed and crunched my foe
In the ring, like a king;
Blood was so hot then, that could melt the wounds.

I was ever the winner,
Head to head - neck to neck
And a few of my routs?
Oh, my conquests did it deck.

I was the fire, whom none would dare,
I was the very true nightmare.
And my turbulent triumphant attire?
It was just not a light affair.

Now I'm ninety
Or I believe so, for my memory now’s so weak
Eyes phobic even to light, and ears shut tight.

Biceps that once lifted the heavy logs
Now just fall lazy
And now when I’m prescribed
I see this world‘s sucking crazy

If I turn back
To repeat the words,
I wonder,
Who's the real wrestler?
Is that me or this eternal time??????

Will this idea work?? ;)

Now again as it’s time for a few serendipitous guys to make some real money (which includes even Big-B), I just thought of trying my luck too. Everyone is aware of KBC that is running in its 4th season now and at this stage, my chance of getting over there is very close to nil, I know. But laterally, I just thought of a ladder which utilises the “Phone a Friend lifeline” and might fetch me some money. Here’s how it works: Suppose I make a website, say “registerhereforkbc.com” where the users who get the prospect of being in ‘fastest-fingers-first’ can register themselves to “earn” a “RESPONSIBLE” friend who ASSURES them of their money. We will give a pseudo-friend to them, whose name may vary from “rakesh gupta” to “manivannan”, and a cell-number, different for different users but all of whom directly ring in our cabin !! Two/three of us will have numerous search engines opened up to type the query as the contestant reads out the question(Yes, I agree, this requires a quality expertise).

The Deal:

The rule is simple. If the contestant finishes reading the question and 4 options within 13 seconds, further responsibility will be TOTALLY OURS. If we provide him the right answer, all we demand is 25% of the money ‘WHAT HE EARNS FROM THAT PARTICULAR QUESTION’, which means the amount allotted for that question minus the amount allotted for its previous question. Eg: If he calls us for Rs.5 crore question and we give him the right answer, then he pays us 25% of 4 crores, because the value of that particular question is 4 crores(5 crores minus 1 crore, the value of its previous question).

In case we fail to answer him (failing refers to both ‘not able to answer’ and ‘answering wrongly’), we will provide him the FULL amount allotted FOR THAT PARTICULAR QUESTION again. ( Question’s allotted value minus that of the previous question). This point will orient the contestants towards calling us, as all they need to do is finish narrating the question in 13 secs, and they will SURELY get the money, either from KBC or from us.

And suppose he/she FAILS to narrate the question in 13 seconds, profits will be absolutely on our side, as he/she still has to pay us the 25% of the value if we provide right answer but we do NOT provide anything as compensation if we are wrong or if we cannot answer. ( A casino rule, ‘Restriction is the key’ ).

I tried out a number of questions that are actually asked in KBC’s previous episodes (of all seasons) and found that none of them could harm us. There was hardly any “NON-GOOGLABLE” question, and if the contestant finishes narrating us the question within 13 seconds, ( a figure which I have arrived at after several trials and pseudo narration attempts), then our search engine assemblage (which is google + mamma + cuil + yahoo + bing + ixquick + Wiki ofcourse ), each of which has its own specialities, needs only 2 seconds maximum to show the result. Rest of the time should be utilized in analyzing the responses and communicating the answer to the contestant!!!

PS: Thank You for reading the above crap!! :)